Is it safe to say people give up on love so easily?
You have been hurt once,countless times,doesnt mean love isnt meant to be......
We find love in the craziest circumstance when we least expect it...When we are not even looking for it....And so my story begins.....
I had never experienced love like some say.Attraction maybe,Compatibility who knows.Likeness sure that came a lot across my way.At a point i had totally given up on love as for me it didn't just seem to work out.
I had long stopped searching as i was content enough to live my life without it.I was busy enough.Had a good and steady income,great life and all the works that came with.That was until i came across a certain Abibiz.
Hmm adage says fate comes to you when you least expect it in the most cunning circumstance ever.I met him that faithful day when i least expected.Heading to the supermarket to get some supplies,my hair disheveled and my clothes as simplified as ever i bumped into this tall and dark stranger.Yes,he was a complete stranger.Conversation set in and we exchanged numbers,typical man meets woman talk.Stereotype.Did i think i would meet him again? Well i wasn't counting on it or returning his calls either.Guess it was just a spur of the moment thing when i handed him my number.Now i had gotten home,i thought to myself: What was i thinking?????
I wasn't surprised when i got his phone call.Initially ignored it but something made me pick the second ring.Right a phone call i thought would last 5mins if casual talk lasted a whole 3hours.It seemed we had known for years and not just less than 24 hours.I found myself sharing my life story with him,I got to know about his.He would drive down to mine every evening and we would sit and talk for hours.We shared our first kiss,first hug hmmmm.I fell in love drastically.I had never known love the way i felt when i was with him.Truly as it is said you meet one person in your lifetime who ends up becoming your true love.
Our relationship blossomed greatly,our love for each other grew fonder and fonder.I was happy more than i had ever been.I couldn't have been thankful for everything.I had lost love but found it again.His arms around me made me feel safe and secure.My head on his shoulders was always a relieve to me.I would lie in his arms and we would talk,laugh,make love and just be ourselves.Could this really be happening to me? Oh yes it was...
My tall,dark and handsome Abibiz....................................The story only just started
Friday, May 30, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
# BRING BACK OUR GIRLS
The whole country is in a bring back our girls mode.....Nice to see internationally the kidnapped girls are gaining more support for their release.
A lot of celebrities have taken part in the bring back our girls mode and hopefully some action will be taken to ensure the release of all the girls.Let us remember these girls are our mothers of tomorrow,I cant begin to imagine their mindset right now.We all pray for their safe return.
A lot of celebrities have taken part in the bring back our girls mode and hopefully some action will be taken to ensure the release of all the girls.Let us remember these girls are our mothers of tomorrow,I cant begin to imagine their mindset right now.We all pray for their safe return.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Parcel
In life we make various decisions that mould us into what we want to become in future.Sometimes we make the right decisions and other times we make mistakes.We are bound to make mistakes hence why we are termed " Humans".
Some grow up in rich homes and others middle class homes well the rest poor homes.But we all meet at one point and to be honest none of these classes really matter.Our society is faced by so many ill vices that sometimes we ask ourselves when would all this stop?How did it even begin..............
January 2001
The gates to the University were wide open and i couldn't help feeling excited! Finally i had left home and was on my way to real Adulthood.It was exciting to find that i had finally scaled that huddle and i was part of the necessary steps to become a graduate.We were classically termed " Jambites".It was a real hustle and bustle going through registration etc,but I honestly couldn't wait to get into the groove.Into the groove i did get! And boy was it fun!!!!!
Over the years we all learned to grow up and be our own person we all took our own courses to the right path and what we wanted to be after we left school.I struck a friendship with a very unlikely person.Why did I say unlikely? Well because everyone was scared of him!!! He was suppose to be a member of a cult group that terrorized the whole school.I didn't see that in him.I saw a real man growing,a man who had a difficult upbringing and was in that school due to hard work from his mum.I saw a brilliant student who won all the awards at every single time given, a caring and understanding friend.
A lot of my friends left me because of my relationship with Andrew.I asked Andrew at one occasion and of course he waved it off.I thought to myself he cant be!!!! He was too much a gentleman.In our final year,,Andrew burst into my room one morning excited beyond belief..Finally he had met a girl,who he wanted to marry.I was happy for him and we both went to see this girl.Life went on and at times when school was too hot we all left and went into town.Exams were looming ahead and everyone was preparing earnestly for them.Nobody wanted to be left behind well every other person graduated.I received a parcel from my dad and he had one for Andrew as well.The parcel made me happy and to be honest changed me completely.I couldn't wait to give Andrew his.I knew it would change his life as well.I rushed out of my room to his but he wasn't there.
I searched for him everywhere but couldn't find him.Days passed and I let it be.This wasn't the first time Andrew would be missing in action as I would call it.Sometimes I didn't see him for months and he would tell me he went to see his mum back in the village.I kept on leaving messages for him in his room that I had a parcel for him.
After a while I got tired of looking for him and concentrated on my studies.Word got round that Andrew was back,I was so furious I refused to go and see him.He came up to me few days later all smiles as usual.I was furious with him,but of cos my dear friend was able to sooth me.I told him about the parcel I had for him from my Dad and he said he would pick it up later."You should come see it now",I said knowing it would also make him a better person but no he was too busy.Days turned to weeks and finally I was able to convince him and we agreed I would give him the parcel later that night when we all went to read in the library for our exams.
Some way or the other I should have listened to that inner voice which told me to drag him to my place and dump the parcel on him all these weeks.But I didn't.I got ready for the library and picked up the parcel determined not to forget this time.My friend and I walked to school together and at a point we noticed activity everywhere,A lot of students were running around crying,some screaming.We couldn't fathom what was happening..My friend wanted to run but I pulled her by the arm and convinced her we should forge ahead to see what was going on.We practically had to squeeze our way through a gathering of people to see what the problem was...
I wish I could forget the sight...There was my dear friend,my best friend Andrew on the floor in a pool of his own blood,weak beyond words.Crying I lifted his head on my laps and stroked his face.My words were muddled but there he was trying to speak to me but all that came out was more blood.Finally he whispered about my dad's parcel and I laughed out loud.In my mind I thought of how long I had wanted to give it to him.I felt like killing myself for not forcing him to take it.I picked up the parcel from where it had fallen and handed it to him.His hands were full of blood and I knew he was trying to fight for his life.
All I could do was cry,I ignored all the people around me saying he deserved it because he had gone on a killing spree at another institution and they had retaliated back.I couldn't digest the fact that my friend was really that bad.He tried opening the parcel and when he saw its contents,he lifted his hand to my cheek and said now I have it.With that he closed his eyes and was gone from this world.I buried my face with his and cried uncontrollably.I didn't know how many hours had gone by till the university staff came over and gently removed me from him,my whole body was bloodstained and gently they lifted him to take him to the morgue.The parcel slipped out of his hand and I picked it up and stared at it for long..I knew deep down maybe truly it hadn't been too late for him.
I walked back to my room where my friend had long gone out of fear.Looking at me,she hugged me to herself and broke down in tears.I looked at the sun that had come out and knew Andrew was up there.After a while I went to take a shower to wash myself of the all the blood I cried as I did it.He had gone,the best person I had known through all my years in school...My friend asked me few days later where the parcel I wanted to give Andrew was,suggesting I take it to his funeral.I pointed to my dresser and there she saw still soaked with his blood " The Holy Bible"..
I dedicated to this to my special friend Iyke.He kept on asking me to write about him though I guess he dint think I would do it this way but I got his full support.Unlike Andrew he received his parcel early and was able to change.He was able to give his life to Christ and I am more than proud of him.What we do in our past doesn't really matter but when we turn around a new leaf that's when truly we are forgiven.......
Some grow up in rich homes and others middle class homes well the rest poor homes.But we all meet at one point and to be honest none of these classes really matter.Our society is faced by so many ill vices that sometimes we ask ourselves when would all this stop?How did it even begin..............
January 2001
The gates to the University were wide open and i couldn't help feeling excited! Finally i had left home and was on my way to real Adulthood.It was exciting to find that i had finally scaled that huddle and i was part of the necessary steps to become a graduate.We were classically termed " Jambites".It was a real hustle and bustle going through registration etc,but I honestly couldn't wait to get into the groove.Into the groove i did get! And boy was it fun!!!!!
Over the years we all learned to grow up and be our own person we all took our own courses to the right path and what we wanted to be after we left school.I struck a friendship with a very unlikely person.Why did I say unlikely? Well because everyone was scared of him!!! He was suppose to be a member of a cult group that terrorized the whole school.I didn't see that in him.I saw a real man growing,a man who had a difficult upbringing and was in that school due to hard work from his mum.I saw a brilliant student who won all the awards at every single time given, a caring and understanding friend.
A lot of my friends left me because of my relationship with Andrew.I asked Andrew at one occasion and of course he waved it off.I thought to myself he cant be!!!! He was too much a gentleman.In our final year,,Andrew burst into my room one morning excited beyond belief..Finally he had met a girl,who he wanted to marry.I was happy for him and we both went to see this girl.Life went on and at times when school was too hot we all left and went into town.Exams were looming ahead and everyone was preparing earnestly for them.Nobody wanted to be left behind well every other person graduated.I received a parcel from my dad and he had one for Andrew as well.The parcel made me happy and to be honest changed me completely.I couldn't wait to give Andrew his.I knew it would change his life as well.I rushed out of my room to his but he wasn't there.
I searched for him everywhere but couldn't find him.Days passed and I let it be.This wasn't the first time Andrew would be missing in action as I would call it.Sometimes I didn't see him for months and he would tell me he went to see his mum back in the village.I kept on leaving messages for him in his room that I had a parcel for him.
After a while I got tired of looking for him and concentrated on my studies.Word got round that Andrew was back,I was so furious I refused to go and see him.He came up to me few days later all smiles as usual.I was furious with him,but of cos my dear friend was able to sooth me.I told him about the parcel I had for him from my Dad and he said he would pick it up later."You should come see it now",I said knowing it would also make him a better person but no he was too busy.Days turned to weeks and finally I was able to convince him and we agreed I would give him the parcel later that night when we all went to read in the library for our exams.
Some way or the other I should have listened to that inner voice which told me to drag him to my place and dump the parcel on him all these weeks.But I didn't.I got ready for the library and picked up the parcel determined not to forget this time.My friend and I walked to school together and at a point we noticed activity everywhere,A lot of students were running around crying,some screaming.We couldn't fathom what was happening..My friend wanted to run but I pulled her by the arm and convinced her we should forge ahead to see what was going on.We practically had to squeeze our way through a gathering of people to see what the problem was...
I wish I could forget the sight...There was my dear friend,my best friend Andrew on the floor in a pool of his own blood,weak beyond words.Crying I lifted his head on my laps and stroked his face.My words were muddled but there he was trying to speak to me but all that came out was more blood.Finally he whispered about my dad's parcel and I laughed out loud.In my mind I thought of how long I had wanted to give it to him.I felt like killing myself for not forcing him to take it.I picked up the parcel from where it had fallen and handed it to him.His hands were full of blood and I knew he was trying to fight for his life.
All I could do was cry,I ignored all the people around me saying he deserved it because he had gone on a killing spree at another institution and they had retaliated back.I couldn't digest the fact that my friend was really that bad.He tried opening the parcel and when he saw its contents,he lifted his hand to my cheek and said now I have it.With that he closed his eyes and was gone from this world.I buried my face with his and cried uncontrollably.I didn't know how many hours had gone by till the university staff came over and gently removed me from him,my whole body was bloodstained and gently they lifted him to take him to the morgue.The parcel slipped out of his hand and I picked it up and stared at it for long..I knew deep down maybe truly it hadn't been too late for him.
I walked back to my room where my friend had long gone out of fear.Looking at me,she hugged me to herself and broke down in tears.I looked at the sun that had come out and knew Andrew was up there.After a while I went to take a shower to wash myself of the all the blood I cried as I did it.He had gone,the best person I had known through all my years in school...My friend asked me few days later where the parcel I wanted to give Andrew was,suggesting I take it to his funeral.I pointed to my dresser and there she saw still soaked with his blood " The Holy Bible"..
I dedicated to this to my special friend Iyke.He kept on asking me to write about him though I guess he dint think I would do it this way but I got his full support.Unlike Andrew he received his parcel early and was able to change.He was able to give his life to Christ and I am more than proud of him.What we do in our past doesn't really matter but when we turn around a new leaf that's when truly we are forgiven.......
Saturday, November 1, 2008
CRY OF A WOMAN
I lay very still wishing he would get off me as quick as possible.I dreaded this moments but how could I explain it? I knew he knew I dint enjoy a moment of it but what could I do? I waited for the question I always heard at the end of it all " Sarah are you sure there is nothing you want to tell me?,You don't enjoy sex at all".I shook my head and mouthed the words " No".
I grew up in the hustle and bustle of the city of Lagos.My family were neither poor nor rich but we were content and my Dad always provided for us no matter what we wanted.Ours was a happy okay family until the arrival of Uncle Peter..Uncle Peter was my Dad's second cousin and he had just come back from the war in Liberia.With nowhere to go,Dad offered him a place in our home.We were all excited that we had a relative coming as we hardly saw any of our relatives.
My life never was the same after that everyday I remember the number of nights,I had my mouth covered to prevent me from screaming,I remember the tears dripping down my face.I was too scared to tell anyone even my siblings.Who would have believed me I was just 12?This went on for 6 years and every time uncle peter came I became a ghost of myself.I couldn't wait to leave home away from it all where I felt I could start afresh again.I was tempted more than once to tell my parents but I remembered uncle peter's threats and out of fear of them I said nothing.The years went by and I had to live with this brutal abuse from a man 28 years older than I was then.As I became of age I became a recluse.I was a shadow of my former self and shied away from the opposite sex.Sex wasn't a big deal to me and when my friends talked about it,little did they know I had done it all.
With time I left home and was able to get away from Uncle Peter.Did I think I would get away from the hurt and memories? I thought I would but easier said than done.As i grew older the memory never left and it affected any other relationship that came my way.I still wasn't brave enough to admit it out loud.I lived with it out of fear.........
My various relationships never stood the test of time because I never could really tell what exactly was the matter with me when it came to sexual intercourse.All I did was just lie down and sometimes my face was still crowded by the same fear of seeing Uncle Peters face.At a point I wish I could kill him as the hatred for him grew more and more as I grew older.I started to think of others he had probably done the same to and was still getting away with it.But I could do nothing like millions around me who had gone through the same we were all just in a middle of a big atmosphere with none to turn to.My life I knew would never be the same but i tried to struggle through that phase of my life and forge ahead.
The past still visited me daily especially at night when I thought still Uncle Peter would open my door,It didn't help matters as all my boyfriends couldn't put up with my screaming at night and my reluctance to have intercourse.For some I was branded a " witch".I cried myself to sleep so many nights and prayed to God above for justice.The ringing of the phone brought me out of my thoughts as I realised I had drifted away.I was totally unprepared for my Aunt's voice telling me her sweet husband had passed away.I found a smile forming on my face as I realised finally i was free from this devil in human clothing.I knew deep down it was over and I could learn to move ahead with my life and forget the past.I realised God had finally heard my cry.......
I didn't write this blog to hurt anyone's feelings the more or open up fresh wounds.I wrote it because it is something that happens in our everyday lives.As women we tend to hide it out of shame or out of the fact we would not be believed.Times are changing now and I think its high time we put an end to sexual abuse on us either as adults or kids.I think our kids have a right to be able to say what exactly is going on.
We all live in one fear or the other and have we really thought about how much this affects our present and future? Its best to be able to talk about these issues and I for one want to be able to tell any woman who has gone through this not to be afraid to speak out.Let go of that ugly past and look in to a bright future...Remain blessed
I grew up in the hustle and bustle of the city of Lagos.My family were neither poor nor rich but we were content and my Dad always provided for us no matter what we wanted.Ours was a happy okay family until the arrival of Uncle Peter..Uncle Peter was my Dad's second cousin and he had just come back from the war in Liberia.With nowhere to go,Dad offered him a place in our home.We were all excited that we had a relative coming as we hardly saw any of our relatives.
My life never was the same after that everyday I remember the number of nights,I had my mouth covered to prevent me from screaming,I remember the tears dripping down my face.I was too scared to tell anyone even my siblings.Who would have believed me I was just 12?This went on for 6 years and every time uncle peter came I became a ghost of myself.I couldn't wait to leave home away from it all where I felt I could start afresh again.I was tempted more than once to tell my parents but I remembered uncle peter's threats and out of fear of them I said nothing.The years went by and I had to live with this brutal abuse from a man 28 years older than I was then.As I became of age I became a recluse.I was a shadow of my former self and shied away from the opposite sex.Sex wasn't a big deal to me and when my friends talked about it,little did they know I had done it all.
With time I left home and was able to get away from Uncle Peter.Did I think I would get away from the hurt and memories? I thought I would but easier said than done.As i grew older the memory never left and it affected any other relationship that came my way.I still wasn't brave enough to admit it out loud.I lived with it out of fear.........
My various relationships never stood the test of time because I never could really tell what exactly was the matter with me when it came to sexual intercourse.All I did was just lie down and sometimes my face was still crowded by the same fear of seeing Uncle Peters face.At a point I wish I could kill him as the hatred for him grew more and more as I grew older.I started to think of others he had probably done the same to and was still getting away with it.But I could do nothing like millions around me who had gone through the same we were all just in a middle of a big atmosphere with none to turn to.My life I knew would never be the same but i tried to struggle through that phase of my life and forge ahead.
The past still visited me daily especially at night when I thought still Uncle Peter would open my door,It didn't help matters as all my boyfriends couldn't put up with my screaming at night and my reluctance to have intercourse.For some I was branded a " witch".I cried myself to sleep so many nights and prayed to God above for justice.The ringing of the phone brought me out of my thoughts as I realised I had drifted away.I was totally unprepared for my Aunt's voice telling me her sweet husband had passed away.I found a smile forming on my face as I realised finally i was free from this devil in human clothing.I knew deep down it was over and I could learn to move ahead with my life and forget the past.I realised God had finally heard my cry.......
I didn't write this blog to hurt anyone's feelings the more or open up fresh wounds.I wrote it because it is something that happens in our everyday lives.As women we tend to hide it out of shame or out of the fact we would not be believed.Times are changing now and I think its high time we put an end to sexual abuse on us either as adults or kids.I think our kids have a right to be able to say what exactly is going on.
We all live in one fear or the other and have we really thought about how much this affects our present and future? Its best to be able to talk about these issues and I for one want to be able to tell any woman who has gone through this not to be afraid to speak out.Let go of that ugly past and look in to a bright future...Remain blessed
Friday, October 31, 2008
EVERGREEN
My First Post on my own Blog.What can I say? I am excited..Thanks to my friend Colyns Agboju of dearagbocol.blogspot.com who didnt let me sleep a wink last night until i agreed to go ahead with this blog.He went out of his way and busy schedule to create this for me and i am truly grateful.
My writings are pure and deep from the heart.They cover different areas and aspects of our everyday life.Relationships,Marriages,Love,Business etc.Some of these stories are true and some are fictional.I write it the way i see and feel it and i hope you all enjoy it the way i do.I also hope it comes as a way of inspiration to several who have gone through various issues in life.
To my facebook friends as well who enjoyed my notes on there,thanks a lot guys.I finally have my own blog.Hope you enjoy it all here too..
EVERGREEN
I woke up feeling happy and excited.Exactly why was I happy,what was the cause of my joy? I was about to be wed!!! it had always been my dream to have a fairy tale wedding..I was excited I was getting married to a man I loved extremely and ours had been a good relationship which span a whole 5 years.Nothing could take my joy away..I just couldn't wait to say I do....
My mind went back to the events which happened a long time ago which led to this day.A time where sadness and pain had rippled through my heart and made me almost want to give up on marriage.I shook those thoughts off and prepared for the church service.The drive to the church was just 10 mins and it felt like an hour,I was that excited, I couldn't just wait to be Mrs..The whole place was packed full of family and friends that had come to join in our celebrations.The beautiful chapel was filled with vanilla scented candles and lovely white roses.The whole atmosphere said it all..It was easy to know that this day was made for two people in love to take their vows.........
I sat down and remembered the day so much I got so so emotional.Sometimes I asked myself exactly why certain things where the way they are.My mind shifted back years ago when I had been tortured beyond belief and recognition.I remembered what had been taken away from me so cruelly yet I had been given another chance to survive and prove I could get by it all.Was I elated? Maybe not I wish it had all gone with me.I had little hope of ever recovering... Did I? Not fully maybe I still haven't recovered but I know am a lot better than before.I glance through the past like a light spurring my eyes and I shut it so quickly as I want that past to go away........
The laughter jolted me from my thoughts as I came back to the present.Friends and families hugged and greeted each other as they took their places and waited for the ceremony to begin..I peeped from the little room and saw my groom waiting for me at the end of the aisle.I blessed myself and the day for coming my way and I knew deep down I had made a good decision.It was time to forget the past and look at my future...
As I walked out as the orchestra started playing and as I took a step forward I shut my eyes and said a quick prayer,smiling openly and putting my arms round my brother who was giving me away I glanced up and thought to myself my evergreen world awaits me... But did it??????????
As I walked down the aisle I was the happiest I could be waiting to be joined in one with my life,my heart,my soul.I could see the smiling faces of family and friends as they admired " a blushing bride".I felt free and happy as my brother placed me in the arms of my groom.As we smiled at each other,we both turned to face the priest who was conducting the ceremony.
Yes this was happening.I couldn't wait! I could almost speed him up.As we said our vows,I thought to myself " I want loads of kids".My thoughts were jolted back to the priest as he asked would anyone object to our being married."Yeah right I thought to myself" looking at my grooms face I knew he said those same thoughts in his mind.OK hurry up now I said could hardly wait to be Mrs.As I turned to face the priest,I was totally unprepared for the voice I heard,a voice I had dreaded for so long,a voice I wanted to be lost forever but someone that voice had come to haunt me after all these years..As I turned to the direction of the voice, I saw a face I wished I never came across as dismay was written on my face as I knew the next words that would be spoken from those lips that were from the devil itself.
I woke up to the sound of whispers..Slowly it dawned on me what had happened.I tried to cry but no tears came out.I searched for my groom and there he was looking at me with hatred filled in his eyes."Why dint you tell me" he accused me unjustly and deep down I couldn't blame him..I had lied to a man I loved because I was too scared of what he would have thought of my past.I tried to speak but I was tongue tied.Burying my head in my hands,I got up slowly and asked everyone to leave us alone.I turned to him with all sincerity in my heart and found him in so much anguish.I tried to recollect my thoughts but I couldn't, everything was just a parallel of some sort."He has told me everything",I turned to listen to him and I wasn't surprised when I heard the next words.
The hustle and bustle of people around me brought a new meaning to the word like itself.I looked around me and saw how happy people were,little would one know whatever dark secret they had inside their hearts.I tried to recollect the last months events and I was glad I was at peace with myself.I thought back to my mistakes of the past,I thought back to when I was defiled violently for years on,I thought back to the many abortions I committed and the wild life I had lived,I thought back to the man I had married for his money and left him when I realised he had nothing..Little did I know the divorce hadn't gone through because of the greediness of a fake lawyer.Could I blame him? No I was greedy myself!
As I watched the sun set,I realised that we all have had our fair share of bad.Sometimes if we are too frightened to admit it or pretend about it,it would come to haunt us even if it takes a million years to come.
When we finally find love due to our foolishness,we lose it to a past that if we had openly spoken, we may have been forgiven.Did I blame my groom for not wedding me that day? No I didn't.I understood the shock and pain he went through cos he thought he knew a different me! Did I regret not telling him sooner yes I did! I wished I had done it earlier but what's the point in crying over spilt milk? I had learnt my mistakes and served my time for them.I wasn't bothered about the wagging tongues of everybody.Dusting the sand off my feet,I strolled towards the sunset in to the waiting arms of the one I had hurt so bad. I was given a second chance at love and there I was strolling hand in hand with him to the shed where a priest was waiting to wed us..away from everyone else just us, away from the past into the future,to a new beginning and a new life.
I was given a second chance and as we kissed to sound of the waves and the breeze,I thanked God silently for giving me this second chance.I looked up and smiled at him.My EVERGREEN had begun.
This story was written from the deepest thoughts.A lot of us go through a lot of things in life and yet we feel it may not really matter.A lot of us regret things we have done and we feel too scared to say it out loud for fear we would be judged for it.We cant always be blamed for the kind of life we lived if not right its all part of the growing up stage.Remember what Jesus said"Let he that is without sin caste the first stone".We should not be afraid to speak because the heavy weight we feel would be lessened.We are all given second chances though sometimes we may not recognise it..I hope and pray you all who have gone through one thing or the another in life would have your second chance..Love u all
My writings are pure and deep from the heart.They cover different areas and aspects of our everyday life.Relationships,Marriages,Love,Business etc.Some of these stories are true and some are fictional.I write it the way i see and feel it and i hope you all enjoy it the way i do.I also hope it comes as a way of inspiration to several who have gone through various issues in life.
To my facebook friends as well who enjoyed my notes on there,thanks a lot guys.I finally have my own blog.Hope you enjoy it all here too..
EVERGREEN
I woke up feeling happy and excited.Exactly why was I happy,what was the cause of my joy? I was about to be wed!!! it had always been my dream to have a fairy tale wedding..I was excited I was getting married to a man I loved extremely and ours had been a good relationship which span a whole 5 years.Nothing could take my joy away..I just couldn't wait to say I do....
My mind went back to the events which happened a long time ago which led to this day.A time where sadness and pain had rippled through my heart and made me almost want to give up on marriage.I shook those thoughts off and prepared for the church service.The drive to the church was just 10 mins and it felt like an hour,I was that excited, I couldn't just wait to be Mrs..The whole place was packed full of family and friends that had come to join in our celebrations.The beautiful chapel was filled with vanilla scented candles and lovely white roses.The whole atmosphere said it all..It was easy to know that this day was made for two people in love to take their vows.........
I sat down and remembered the day so much I got so so emotional.Sometimes I asked myself exactly why certain things where the way they are.My mind shifted back years ago when I had been tortured beyond belief and recognition.I remembered what had been taken away from me so cruelly yet I had been given another chance to survive and prove I could get by it all.Was I elated? Maybe not I wish it had all gone with me.I had little hope of ever recovering... Did I? Not fully maybe I still haven't recovered but I know am a lot better than before.I glance through the past like a light spurring my eyes and I shut it so quickly as I want that past to go away........
The laughter jolted me from my thoughts as I came back to the present.Friends and families hugged and greeted each other as they took their places and waited for the ceremony to begin..I peeped from the little room and saw my groom waiting for me at the end of the aisle.I blessed myself and the day for coming my way and I knew deep down I had made a good decision.It was time to forget the past and look at my future...
As I walked out as the orchestra started playing and as I took a step forward I shut my eyes and said a quick prayer,smiling openly and putting my arms round my brother who was giving me away I glanced up and thought to myself my evergreen world awaits me... But did it??????????
As I walked down the aisle I was the happiest I could be waiting to be joined in one with my life,my heart,my soul.I could see the smiling faces of family and friends as they admired " a blushing bride".I felt free and happy as my brother placed me in the arms of my groom.As we smiled at each other,we both turned to face the priest who was conducting the ceremony.
Yes this was happening.I couldn't wait! I could almost speed him up.As we said our vows,I thought to myself " I want loads of kids".My thoughts were jolted back to the priest as he asked would anyone object to our being married."Yeah right I thought to myself" looking at my grooms face I knew he said those same thoughts in his mind.OK hurry up now I said could hardly wait to be Mrs.As I turned to face the priest,I was totally unprepared for the voice I heard,a voice I had dreaded for so long,a voice I wanted to be lost forever but someone that voice had come to haunt me after all these years..As I turned to the direction of the voice, I saw a face I wished I never came across as dismay was written on my face as I knew the next words that would be spoken from those lips that were from the devil itself.
I woke up to the sound of whispers..Slowly it dawned on me what had happened.I tried to cry but no tears came out.I searched for my groom and there he was looking at me with hatred filled in his eyes."Why dint you tell me" he accused me unjustly and deep down I couldn't blame him..I had lied to a man I loved because I was too scared of what he would have thought of my past.I tried to speak but I was tongue tied.Burying my head in my hands,I got up slowly and asked everyone to leave us alone.I turned to him with all sincerity in my heart and found him in so much anguish.I tried to recollect my thoughts but I couldn't, everything was just a parallel of some sort."He has told me everything",I turned to listen to him and I wasn't surprised when I heard the next words.
The hustle and bustle of people around me brought a new meaning to the word like itself.I looked around me and saw how happy people were,little would one know whatever dark secret they had inside their hearts.I tried to recollect the last months events and I was glad I was at peace with myself.I thought back to my mistakes of the past,I thought back to when I was defiled violently for years on,I thought back to the many abortions I committed and the wild life I had lived,I thought back to the man I had married for his money and left him when I realised he had nothing..Little did I know the divorce hadn't gone through because of the greediness of a fake lawyer.Could I blame him? No I was greedy myself!
As I watched the sun set,I realised that we all have had our fair share of bad.Sometimes if we are too frightened to admit it or pretend about it,it would come to haunt us even if it takes a million years to come.
When we finally find love due to our foolishness,we lose it to a past that if we had openly spoken, we may have been forgiven.Did I blame my groom for not wedding me that day? No I didn't.I understood the shock and pain he went through cos he thought he knew a different me! Did I regret not telling him sooner yes I did! I wished I had done it earlier but what's the point in crying over spilt milk? I had learnt my mistakes and served my time for them.I wasn't bothered about the wagging tongues of everybody.Dusting the sand off my feet,I strolled towards the sunset in to the waiting arms of the one I had hurt so bad. I was given a second chance at love and there I was strolling hand in hand with him to the shed where a priest was waiting to wed us..away from everyone else just us, away from the past into the future,to a new beginning and a new life.
I was given a second chance and as we kissed to sound of the waves and the breeze,I thanked God silently for giving me this second chance.I looked up and smiled at him.My EVERGREEN had begun.
This story was written from the deepest thoughts.A lot of us go through a lot of things in life and yet we feel it may not really matter.A lot of us regret things we have done and we feel too scared to say it out loud for fear we would be judged for it.We cant always be blamed for the kind of life we lived if not right its all part of the growing up stage.Remember what Jesus said"Let he that is without sin caste the first stone".We should not be afraid to speak because the heavy weight we feel would be lessened.We are all given second chances though sometimes we may not recognise it..I hope and pray you all who have gone through one thing or the another in life would have your second chance..Love u all
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